Blue Eyes
by Battus philenor
Summary: GS A little GS kind of situation...


Title: Blue Eyes  
  
Author: Battus philenor  
  
Disclaimer: I have no claim to anything CSI. I get nothing from this but happiness from taking the G/S ship farther than those who do own CSI.

It was eleven a.m. by the time she made it home with dried blood caked in the webbing between the fingers of her hands.  His blood.  She stood unmoving in the doorway for some time before she realized it, but Brass remained silent behind her.  

She entered her apartment with Brass following closely; apparently unwilling to let her out of his sight.  Stopping again in the living room a hand drifted to the back of the couch and her thumb began absently stroking the material there.  

He cleared his throat hoping that would be enough to wake her from her nightmare; not knowing what he would say or do if it wasn't.  She jumped, almost startled at his presence yet looking somewhat comforted that she wasn't alone.

She moved on to her bedroom as Brass sat uncomfortably on the edge of a chair, trying to keep her in sight.  Seeing her exit the bedroom and enter the bathroom, he breathed a sigh of relief. 

Worry immediately began to creep in again though as he found himself hoping she would emerge showered and dressed in clean clothing relatively quickly.  Having to go into the bathroom to retrieve a shocked Sara Sidle was something he wanted to avoid.

Brass was thinking that Sara would be able to stay on task knowing that they would head back to the hospital as soon as she was done cleaning up.  Feeling the sting of tears he stood quickly trying to force his emotions aside.  He had to stay strong for Sara.  She needed to lean on him and he had to be there for her.  With Sara in the bathroom he found himself reliving the last few hours.

They had all been at a crime scene; working diligently but still enjoying the normal work place banter they were all accustomed to.  He had been standing by the front door watching a young officer lose his lunch outside well away from the scene.  

Grissom and Sara were just inside in the living room beginning to process what looked like a murder suicide.  A woman and two small boys had been laid out on a blanket each with their arms crossed over their chests.  A man was lying next to them, off the blanket with a gun next to the side of his head which now had a large hole exposing the now scrambled contents.

There was the normal absent minded flirting going on between his two oblivious friends when he heard the loud echoing sound.  Quickly un-holstering his weapon; it took Brass a minute to realize there was no suspect to look for.  After taking in the entire scene, it appeared the suspect's gun had some sort of malfunction that had taken down his friend.  

He watched as Sara flew to Grissom's side just as he was collapsing before her.  Brass reached them a second later and noticed the amount of blood that was pouring out of Grissom's arm.  He was on the radio calling for an ambulance as Sara was covering the gaping hole in his arm with her hands.  

Watching the blood ooze from between her fingertips; Brass knew that more was needed to keep Grissom from bleeding out.  Removing his windbreaker, he bent over Grissom and started tying the slick sleeve directly above the point where Sara's hands were.

The tighter he squeezed the knot the slower the flow of blood under Sara's hands, but she still didn't move them.  She wouldn't move them even when the paramedics showed up.  Brass had to grab her by the shoulders with some force and physically remove her to let them help Grissom. 

She rode in the ambulance with Grissom while Brass followed behind in his car.  He sat with her in the waiting room as if she were his own daughter who was hurting.  He held her up when the doctor told them he would need surgery to repair the damage to his brachial artery or he would bleed out.  And he had taken her home to get cleaned up so she would be back when Grissom woke up.

Brass now took a seat on Sara's couch waiting for her to come out of the bathroom; wondering if this would be the event which would finally push the two together.  He knew Sara felt _something_ for his lonely friend Gil, but the devastation he witnessed earlier confirmed to him that it was true love.

The squeak of the bathroom door opening broke him from his thoughts as he watched Sara make her way to the living room while struggling with her belt.  He stood up knowing she would want to get going as soon as possible.  With a defeated look she threw her belt on the couch in frustration.  

Brass went to her side, and putting his arm around her shoulder gave her a squeeze.  He could feel his heart breaking for her again as she looked up at him with her red tinged eyes.  There were tears pooling, threatening to break over her lids and he could feel her whole body trembling.

"Hey, don't worry kiddo.  Gil's strong, he'll be just fine."

"Yeah, I know it's just… he looked so weak, he never looks weak you know?"  Sara sniffed and wiped away the wetness that had begun to trail down her face.

"Well, that's to be expected, he was shot Sara."  Brass cringed hoping he didn't sound as condescending as he thought he did.  

"Yeah," she barely breathed out.

"Ok.  You ready to go see if he's out of surgery yet?"

Sara gave him a squeeze back and shrugged out from under his arm before turning towards the door.  He followed her as they made their way back to his car and then the hospital.

He was there for her when the doctor told her that Grissom was out of surgery, but still in recovery, and they would have to wait until he was brought to his room before they could see him.  Brass stayed by her side as he called the rest of the team with the update while they were in the waiting room. 

After what seemed like hours a nurse finally came in and told them Grissom was settled in his room.  

"Sara, you go ahead up I'll wait here and take you home when you're done."  

"Uh, if you're not going to go in, why don't you just go home Brass.  I'll grab a cab when I'm ready to leave."

Brass knew she was lying and planned on staying all day, but played along anyway.

"Well, I could use some sleep since I have to work tonight.  Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead.  Thanks for everything Jim."

She watched him start to walk down the corridor and she started to get nervous about seeing Grissom.  She found herself hoping that he looked stronger than he did last time she saw him.

Opening the door slowly she stepped into his room as quietly as she could not wanting to wake him.  Glancing over she saw his form on the bed and marveled at how pale he looked.  The oxygen tubes in his nose and the IV sticking out of his hand did nothing to settle her nerves.

Moving silently to the corner of the room she picked up the hard plastic orange institutional chair and brought it to his bedside.  Looking down at him she knew how embarrassed he would be if anybody saw him in that dingy white hospital gown with tiny blue triangles all over it.  She briefly wondered how they would look against the blue of his eyes.  

Those beautiful sparkling blue eyes.  She was suddenly transported to eight years prior.  Sitting in the font row of a forensic entomology seminar given by a guest speaker at Harvard; mesmerized by those eyes.  

Flashing forward to San Francisco when that same man was called upon for a particularly peculiar case that hinged on his entomological expertise.  Again those blue eyes captivated her very being.

Jumping again to Las Vegas and their meeting after some time had passed.  When he summoned her to help and she came without hesitation, and those same eyes pled with her to make things right, while trying to concentrate his experiment.

Almost every day for the past four years looking into those eyes which did such things to her.  Sometimes showing her love and sometimes anger or pain.  Emotions which nobody else saw, yet were plainly visible to her in those eyes even when he tried so hard to hide them.  

Always on guard trying not to let anybody know him.  Part of her felt blessed to be able to read those eyes so well.  Yet part of her hated that ability because no matter what she knew to be true through those eyes, he wouldn't allow himself to give in.

Sitting there watching him sleep peacefully Sara started to look more closely at the man lying there before her.  His face seemed much younger for some reason.  She expected him to look older having just come out of surgery, but realized the sleep had eased the creases that normally lined his face.

His hand lying directly in front of her seemed to beckon to her as she couldn't stop herself from reaching out to hold it.  Flashing back to the last time she touched his skin, her stomach lurched and she immediately broke out into goose flesh at the image of his blood seeping from between her fingers.  

Shaking her head trying to stop the nausea that was attempting to attack, she sensed his eyes on her.  Lifting her gaze from his hand she was holding she couldn't help a smile from spreading as she saw him looking at her with his crystal blue eyes.  

"How are you feeling Gris?"  Her fingers absently caressed his hand as she tried to whisper the question, but barely anything came out as her voice started to break.  Tears seemed to spring from nowhere and she was surprised at their appearance.

"What happened Sara?  Honey, what's wrong?"

Even lying in bed fresh from surgery, the man could still surprise her.

"There was an accident at the scene, you were shot.  Are you in pain?"

"Shot?  I don't know.  I remember being at the scene and I remember you.  Then just flashes of you looking down at me."  A smile temporarily crossed his face before he looked down at his body as if checking for anything obviously wrong with him. 

"What is it?  Are you in pain?"

"Only my arm, is that my only injury?"

"Yeah, just your arm, but it hit your brachial artery which is why they had to do surgery."

"Surgery, that explains the nausea."  Seeing her confusion he continued.  "General anesthesia always makes me nauseous."

It was then that Grissom realized Sara was holding his hand.  He knew it all along, but in his groggy state it had just dawned on him to wonder what it meant.  The warmth that spread through his body at the realization was cooled only by the fact that he knew he was about to drift back off to sleep.

"Sara don't go."  He managed to whisper before passing out again.

Sara felt her heart rate increase at his request and was about to ask him why she would go anywhere when she noticed he was sleeping again.  

The next few hours were spent holding Grissom's hand and watching him sleep.  Finally sleep over took her right there in the chair; leaning over, head turned sideways pressed into his blanket on the edge of the bed and maintaining her hold on his hand.  

This was the sight Grissom awoke to hours later.  While still groggy he couldn't help but worry how this accident had affected Sara.  Not able to remember most of what happened, he did have a feeling that she hadn't left his side and probably helped keep him alive.  

Watching her sleep was a privilege he would not soon forget.  As beautiful as he thought she was when she was deep in thought, fired up about some issue, or simply relaxing in the break room; nothing could compare to the beauty of a sleeping Sara Sidle. 

The way her hair fell back behind her ear exposing the whole side of her face.  Her mouth hanging open slightly, twitching every so often.  How she would pull at his hand now and then to bring it closer to her face as if for comfort.  

All of those things made him ache to be able to experience this for the rest of his days.  Seeing her dedication to him in the worst of times made him acknowledge his love for her; he knew now that he needed to have her in his life always.  

Being with her only at work was not enough any more.  Not allowing his heart's desire had made them both miserable and he couldn't go through life without the woman that he loved any longer.  

Making his silent internal commitments he was allowed to witness another wonderful sight as Sara woke up.  She moaned softly as her eyes started to flutter open and seek out his eyes.  

Grissom witnessed a flash of love followed by slight confusion on her face as he knew she was seeing his own naked love for her in his eyes.  He could see her dawning realization as he squeezed her hand that had been holding his for hours now.

Trying to lift himself up he winced as pain shot out from his arm.  The look of panic that ran across Sara's face astounded him.

"Grissom what's the matter?"  She sat up immediately ready to fetch a doctor.

"Nothing.  I was trying to lean forward to kiss you, but I can't without extreme pain."  He winced one more time but tried to chuckle to mask how much it really hurt.

"Wow, those must be some powerful drugs you're on."  Letting out her own soft chuckle Sara was trying to keep the mood light not wanting to get her hopes up.

"Sara, I need to be with you.  I don't want to deny it anymore.  I'm not sure it's a good thing that it took something like this to shock me out of my daze, but I'm glad that something did.  I need you Sara, I love you.  Please don't ever leave me."  

Uncertain of when the tears actually started spilling down her cheeks, Sara unabashedly let them flow without a thought given to wiping them away.  Standing slowly she leaned in towards Grissom careful to avoid his shoulder. 

She brushed her lips across his once, and rested her forehead against his.  Feeling his hot breath on her face made every hair on her body stand on end.  With one more tiny kiss she pulled back to look into his eyes.

Those eyes which told her everything she needed to know, looking back at her with such love and understanding.  She could feel the tears falling off her chin and landing on her arm.

"I haven't wanted to leave your side for eight years now.  I've always loved you and always will." 

She leaned in to kiss him again.  The softness of his lips on hers and the short hair of his beard tickling her chin made the kiss feel like home.  The place she was always meant to be.  

End

Battus philenor


End file.
